Mongolia, Camel Toes and all the mutton you can eat

Moby | 17/10/2007

I’ve just got back to Ulan Battor after 14 days in the Mongolian ~~wilderness~~ nothingness. Me, 2 Germanish: Holger & Torsten. Jasmina the Bulgarish. And Byrah our Mongolian driver who I suspect is the 2000-2005 “RussianVan Enduro-Rally Mongolian National Champion”.

Highlights:

Collecting Poo for the fire : There are certain qualities you look for!
Having 2 showers in 14 days
Seeing a tree after 4 days
Buying a Boney M tape for the driver to compliment his Abba one.
Getting spat on by my friendly 2 hump camel
Hiding a “camel toe” in the van as a gift for my tour mates
Overtaking another vehicle after 7 days.
Finding a replacement travel hula hoop in a small town in the middle of nowhere.
Buying wood so we dont have to collect poo, then disoverin said wood smells like really bad poo when burnt
Waking up to a white Mongolia, snow everywhere!
All 4 of us getting food poisoning, with the toilet being 400m away across snow.
Catching the driver watching FREAKY German $#!t on my chest style porn in his ger(yurt).
Eating mutton everything. Even the boiled water tasted like mutton.
Smelling like mutton.
Spreading the chili sauce religion o my fellow travellers.
Getting everyone saying “why not!” to answer any proposal.
Getting my Mongolian ~~mule~~ horse to as fast as walking pace
Picking up a Mongolian Woman hitching in the middle of nowhere, but carrying a nice handbag. She did wave goodbye to a goat herder then proceeding to teach her Yaniv (card game) and her beating Holger.
German Holger used to play a Supergroove song in his covers band
Being Polish as much as possible, using derivatives of polish in speech (being polite)
While partying the way back to UB (3 bottles of vodka), one of us stood on my bag, breaking my cameras LCD. DOH