The 1000 Day Holiday

I was on a Eurolines bus from St Petersberg to Estonia. 30 Passengers, nothing out of the ordinary.

We reached the Russian Immigration Control Point. At which point we grab our bags and head to get our exit stamps. Im the last in line from our bus. No problem.

Everyone else breezes through. Stamp, next, stamp, next…

20 minutes of him picking at the lamination on the photo page of my passport, while on the phone… The passport is full, just 2 clean pages left. Of course it looks a bit tatty. But hell, I want to leave your country, Im not arriving!

Me trying to say please dont pick at that, since I have to present that passport to Estonian immigration at the next stop.

Its like he wanted me to stay in Russia!

Getting back on the bus and getting evil stares from everyone when you couldnt do anything about it. BUH

English is a rich and wonderful language – but sometimes it’s just not good enough.

Kaelling – Danish: a woman who stands on her doorstep yelling obscenities at her kids.

Pesamenteiro – Portuguese: one who joins groups of mourners at the home of a dead person, apparently to offer condolences but in reality is just there for the refreshments.

Ruumiraiskaja – Estonian: waster of space. Ruuminraiskaja – Finnish: Abuse of a corpse

Okuri-OKAMI – Japanese: literally a “see-you-home-wolf”. A man who feigns thoughtfulness by offering to see a girl home only to try to molest her once he gets in the door.

Jayus – Indonesian: someone who tells a joke so unfunny you can’t help laughing.

Spesenritter – German: a person who shows off by paying the bill on the firm’s money, literally “an expense knight”.

Kamaki – Greek: the young local guys strolling up and down beaches hunting for female tourists, literally “harpoons”.

Kanjus Makkhicus – Hindi: a person so miserly that if a fly falls into his cup of tea, he’ll fish it out and suck it dry before throwing it away.

Giri-GIRI – Hawaiian pidgin: the place where two or three hairs stick up, no matter what.

Pelinti – Buli, Ghana: to move very hot food around inside one’s mouth.

Dii-KOYNA – Ndebele, South Africa: to destroy one’s property in anger.

Hanyauku – Rukwangali, Namibia: walking on tiptoes across warm sand.

Tartle – Scottish: to hesitate when you are introducing someone whose name you can’t quite remember.

Vovohe Tahtsenaotse – Cheyenne, US: to prepare the mouth before speaking by moving or licking one’s lips.

Prozvonit – Czech and Slovak: to call someone’s mobile from your own to leave your number in their memory without them picking it up.

Hira Hira – Japanese: the feeling you get when you walk into a dark and decrepit old house in the middle of the night.

Koi No Yokan – Japanese: a sense on first meeting someone that it is going to evolve into love.

Cafune – Brazilian Portuguese: the tender running of one’s fingers through the hair of one’s mate.

Shnourkovat Sya – Russian: when drivers change lanes frequently and unreasonably.

Gadrii Nombor Shulen Jongu – Tibetan: giving an answer that is unrelated to the question, literally “to give a green answer to a blue question”.

Biritululo – Kiriwani, Papua New Guinea: comparing yams to settle a dispute.

Poronkusema – Finnish: the distance equal to how far a reindeer can travel without a comfort break.

Gamadj – Obibway, North America: dancing with a scalp in one’s hands, in order to receive presents.

Baling – Manobo, Philippines: the action of a woman who, when she wants to marry a man, goes to his house and refuses to leave until marriage is agreed upon.

Dona – Yamana, Chile: to take lice from a person’s head and squash between one’s teeth.

Oka/SHETE – Ndonga, Nigeria: urination difficulties caused by eating frogs before the rain has duly fallen.

Pisan Zapra – Malay: the time needed to eat a banana.

Physiggoomai – Ancient Greek: excited by eating garlic.

Baffona – Italian: an attractive moustachioed woman.

Layogenic – Tagalog, Philippines: a person who is only goodlooking from a distance.

Rhwe – South Africa: to sleep on the floor without a mat while drunk and naked.

Shvitzer – Yiddish: someone who sweats a lot, especially a nervous seducer.

Gattara – Italian: a woman, often old and lonely, who devotes herself to stray cats.

Creerse La Ultima Coca-COLA EN EL DESIERTO – Central American Spanish: to have a very high opinion of oneself, literally to “think one is the last Coca-Cola in the desert”.

Vrane Su Mu Popile Mozak – Croatian: crazy, literally “cows have drunk his brain”.

Du Kannst Mir Gern Den Buckel Runterrutschen Und Mit Der Zunge Bremsen – Austrian German: abusive insult, literally “you can slide down my hunchback using your tongue as a brake”.

Tener Una Cara De Telefono Ocupado – Puerto Rican Spanish: to be angry, literally “to have a face like a busy telephone”.

Bablat – Hebrew: baloney, but is an acronym of “beelbool beytseem le-lo takhleet” which means “bothering someone’s testicles for no reason”.

Vai A Fava – Portuguese: get lost, literally “go to the fava bean”.

Rombhoru – Bengali: a woman having thighs as shapely as banana trees.

Tako-NYODU – Japanese: a baldy, literally an “octopus monk”.

Snyavshi Shtany, PO VOLOSAM NE GLADYAT – Russian: once you’ve taken off your pants it’s too late to look at your hair.

Mariteddu Tamant’e Un Ditu Ieddu Voli Essa Rivaritu – Corsican: a husband must be respected even if he is very short.

Bayram Degil (SEYRAN DEGIL ENISTE BENI NIYE OPTU? – Turkish: there must be something behind this. Literally “it’s not festival time, it’s not a pleasure trip, so why did my brother-in-law kiss me”?

638 Days down, 362 to go…
01/10/07 Train to UB, Mongolia
02/10/07 Train Arriving in UB
03/10/07 Sorting road trip. catching up with the world by road guys.
04/10/07 Start Mongolia road trip, Resta for lunch then rock formations
05/10/07 White mountain (well pink and red) & collecting poo
06/10/07 Dalanzadgad Town. Hot shower!
07/10/07 Ice Valley & then staying Bayanzag, camel toe fun
08/10/07 Sand dunes
09/10/07 Sand dunes
10/10/07 Arvaikheer Town – shower!
11/10/07 Woke up to snow, explored the “hot spring”, got to waterfall
12/10/07 Waterfall, the waterfall of diarrhea
13/10/07 Kharkhorin, face painting
14/10/07 To White Lake – sunset at the volcano
15/10/07 White Lake
16/10/07 13hr drive back to UB. RIP to my camera LCD
17/10/07 Not eating mutton!
18/10/07 Hanging in UB
19/10/07 Hanging in UB, Party at Metropolis
20/10/07 On the train from UB to Irkutsk
21/10/07 On the train from UB to Irkutsk
22/10/07 Arrive in Irkutsk
23/10/07 Minivan to Olkhon Island, Try drinking a shot of vinegar.
24/10/07 Olkhon Island
25/10/07 Olkhon Island
26/10/07 Minivan back to Irkutsk
27/10/07 Irkutsk
28/10/07 Trans-Siberian Irkutsk to moscow (2am dep/29th) ( 9pm moscow time)
29/10/07 Trans-Siberian Irkutsk to moscow
30/10/07 Trans-Siberian Irkutsk to moscow
31/10/07 Trans-Siberian Irkutsk to moscow