The 1000 Day Holiday

Before I first visited South America I had heard crazy stories of buses where you could see through the floor, chickens, pigs and other unnamed animals under your feet.

Maybe it was because I came from Africa where the buses minivans really are like that times 10. The exchange student doctors you meet tell you never to sit near the front of the minivans because the amount of injuries they see in the emergency departments give them 12 months experience in just 3.

Well I have to say that the buses here in Colombia are pretty damn flash.

They have air conditioning “so good” that you hope you are wearing your thermals, jeans, jumper and hoodie just in the hope of being warm enough to sleep. This can be a double negative when you are layered up in preparation and end up on a full bus, no toilet, and there is no air-con!

But to the point of this post. The only strange thing about the buses here is that you will not see what is possibly going to kill you.

There is a partition between the driver/front window an the passenger compartment. So when you get thrown out of your seat onto the floor by heavy braking, or into the aisle from very heavy swerving. You really cant tell how close you came to the end.

The positive side you need less Valium, because what you cant see cant hurt you.

Comparing these trips to one I did in Thailand sitting front and top of a double-decker bus above the driver, with a full widescreen view of their style of overtaking other buses with oncoming trucks around fast corners, all this with just 2 lanes. A few episodes like this and we could take no more and shut the curtains.

Yeah. Colombian buses are better.

If some crazy Welsh guy told you of a festival where they dress up donkeys and parade them thru a town in Colombia. You may be a little sceptical.

But you would definately go to see such a weird and wacky thing that cannot happen in the western world. Because Western donkeys have feelings.

I can categorically say, every donkey I saw was smiling, looked “beautiful” and was probably having the most fun since last years festival!

There is a local urban myth that when Boys come of age, a Donkey is their first experience… just like all kiwis are sheep shaggers.

If you never believed that Leprechauns existed in Ireland.

Maybe its because they emigrated to Medellin, Colombia. St Patrick’s day anywhere in the world is a sight to behold and a jolly good party.

This year was no exception.

Midgets giving beer/rum & coke funnels while standing on the bar.

Perfection.

After a while of travelling I got a little sick of discovering yet another different electrical outlet plug shape. Thus requiring me to buy yet another power socket adapter.The immediate solution was to devise my own.It would have to solve many problems.

• Fit all wall socket styles, recessed/flush mounted/hidden behind large furniture.
• Take multiple appliances at once, of different adapter styles as I have devices from AU/US/UK/China/Middle East
• Act as an extension cord for when there is no power socket in the bathroom
• Be safer than plugging directly into the wall socket, utilising a built in fuse

It also needs to be manufactured from readily available parts, using nothing more than a leatherman and some tape.This is what I came up with.

Utilising two of my existing power adapters, some medical tape from my first aid kit, and a cord from a dead hair clipper. I have created the truly universal power adapter.

The added bonus of using this is it completely freaks people out.

Naked wires + Electricity = People get nervous.

In fact, great joy is taken from watching people discover my adapter hanging from the power outlet and watching their reaction when I suggest they plug their appliance into it.

Volunteers would be bitten by infected mosquitoes in vaccine study

SEATTLE – The Seattle Biomedical Research Institute will pay volunteers as much as $4,000 to be bitten by mosquitoes infected with malaria.

Scientists say no lives are in danger because the volunteers can be cured. The institute is testing which vaccines work fastest.

The head of the program, Dr. Patrick Duffy, said volunteers will spend several nights under medical supervision in a hotel.

All of the human trials will be reviewed for safety by the Food and Drug Administration.

–

Its been a while since I’ve had malaria. Due to my dwindling funds, I’m considering this program.

If you want to save me from such desperate measures. You can Sponsor A Kiwi right here right now!

It would be interesting to know which strain they will infect them with and what incubation period they will wait before administering the drugs. And if they are testing exsiting combinations of drugs or a new drug/s.

But hopefully I dont get to find out! HINT HINT

My teeth have now experienced Thai, Chinese and now Colombian dentists. But this one really takes the cake.

Im in Bogota, Colombia. My chinese filling fell out a few weeks ago. So it was time to replace it now that Im in a cheap country!

I asked the owner of the Hostel for a recommenddation for a dentist.

This is that story…

I rang the dentist and he could fit me in immediately. So I walked over to the address.

It was located in an apartment building, 18th floor. No sign on the door. hmm interesting.

I buzzed the doorbell and was let into the waiting room. Complete with a 1960s TV set.

After a short wait the dentist comes out and ushers me into the room. Everything is 1960 style. the chair, the cabinets, tools. At least theres an autoclave, or maybe its just a benchtop oven which he uses to sterilize the intruments…

It turns out my dentist speaks english, as he came from Hungary after the revolution (1954)!

Some quick calculations, that makes him pretty old! While hes drilling my tooth it starts to get a little (lot) painful. So I make some “argh´s”

He laughs and says “I like it yes?”

His hands wobble a whole lot, he stops to watch the political statements on tv, since the Equador problem is still in full swing…but Im in for the long haul. I even get to hold the other tool while he drills, fills or watches tv…

2 weeks on, the filling is still in. But I should really have gone to one of the normal dentists in actual offices, 60 Years younger, newer, proper and I think half the price.

I wish I had taken some photos of the dentist chair, and the dentist. sigh. I dont think I will ever forget his face though

What was I thinking when I booked my ticket with a stopover in Miami on my way to Colombia from Spain?

I wanted a new Ipod, and its $100+ cheaper in the USA. And I needed to use up some airpoints…

I didn´t end up buying a new Ipod, but I got to experience a very strange place called South Beach Miami.

Highlights:

• 29 Cent Hamburgers from that US instution McDonalds for the 2008 Leap Year. Limit 10 per customer of course.
• Watching people watching themselves. I have never seen such an image/bling consious place.
• Discovering the American Dance style. 100% Grinding 100% of the time. This is where the girl bends over and grinds her ass into your groin. Everyone does it. No eye contact or talking required. Although you can easily forget who you are actually dancing with.
• Kath and Kims “look at me, look at me” really suits this place

For the last month, I have been a non solo traveller. In fact Ive been part of 2 USA sized vehicles driving around the world. They go by the name of “The World By Road“.

I joined the Boys in London, but it was straight onto a Ferry to mainland Europe. This is where the fun really began.

We sampled drank copious amounts of the best beers in the world. Yes Bavaria really does deliver the goods in this department. Not to mention crazy nightclub antics, but more about that later in a dedicated post (Incl Video).

Then the magic really started to happen. The Switzerland board of Tourism really hooked us up, with great digs, cheesy fondue and 6 days snowboarding + Ice climbing thrown in.

Nothing beats blue sky days, pow pow and sharp implements like ice axes thrown in for good measure.

We Continued on into Spain, sampling a little of Sitges Carnaval. Where anything goes outfit wise.

Exploring the coastline of Portugal, and discovering how far people will go to get a decent free wireless signal

And finally bouncing into Morocco. Where we did things like driving through pedestrian markets in Large USA style vehicles as only Americans would do. Nothing like buying 1kg of fresh strawberries out of your car window for $2.

All things considered, a crazy month. Many good times. And now I’m back to Solo travel. It only took me a week to stop wondering where the crew were when I woke up.

St Petersburg: The birth defect museum called Kunst Kamera. Seeing all the school kids looking at the deformed babies in jars, feeling ill, turning away. Thinking theyre ok. turning back. getting wobbly legs again.

Krakow: Getting busted on the trams without a ticket, I wasnt trying to scam it. It just happed that last time I got onto the tram there wasnt a ticket machine at the stop. All the other times I had bought a ticket. In the end two of us hopped off the tram with the inspector. The inspector didnt speak any english, the other guy did. I got off with bribing our way out of the $50 fine by paying $20. Although I think the bribe was actually $10 so I ended up paying the other guys bribe as well. haha

Berlin:Home of the Kebab, and while I had some really average ones, I did also have the best one Ive ever had. It was real chicken on the rotisserie, with capsicum layered within. Roast veges, salad, sauce and goats cheese. All for 2Euro.

UK: I was really expecting the worst in the UK. Maybe I was just exceptionally lucky with the weather. I got many blue sky days and it wasn’t too cold. Or maybe I still ha memories of the snow in Russia & Poland. But the UK did deliver on fun times with great friends. Not too sure about the Ales tho.

Bavaria, Germany: Never have I tried so many damn fine beers, and never have I seen a nightclub like A9 in Ingoldstat. This club is getting a post of its own! 

Switzerland: After joining The World By Road boys we headed thru Paris and into Switzerland for some Snowboarding, Ice Climbing, Fondue eating promotional work = FREE. DAMN.

Andorra: Wow, what a country. Where else can you buy bottles of wine for 50 euro cents and they actually taste ok? Bottled water costs more. 

Spain:  Tapas, Tapas, Tapas and Champagne, Tapas and Champagne. What more needs to be said? 

Living in hostels is quite a change from everyday life, and I’m sure if I had stayed only in hostels for the last 760+ days I would be completely bonkers. Personal space gets squashed, and there’s a lot of snorers, snorees, talkers, plastic bag rustlers etc.

One thing I’m not a fan of is Neuken in de Dorm room. So when people get amorous they should find somewhere a little more private. The problem is the limited options, especially when its cold outside.

CCTV is now in almost every hostel Ive been in, its advertised, conspicuous and everyone knows its there. But what goes on tour is sometimes not what would be done at home.

A case in point. We had been in Edinburgh for a few days and were socialising with the crew of the hostel in the evenings. On one of my last days there, I was heading past the front desk, on my way out and the guy working said to come over and check something out.

The something was the CCTV monitor reviewing the footage from 5am in the lounge area. This was a 25minute session on the only couch left in its folded out state, which just happens to be situated square and centre of the cameras view of the room.

During the following day I overheard many of the different staff asking each other if they had seen last nights highlights…

So what goes on tour, may stay on tour. although its more likely to get watched by bunch of staff having a laugh and possibly even ending up on an TouristsGoneWild CCTV DVD available soon from your local Pron shop.

As a funny aside, this hostel had 6 kitchens! ( keuken´s), these were locked after 11pm, killing the possibility of Neuken in de keuken.