The 1000 Day Holiday

I am proud to announce the winners of the Worst Beers in the World, as sampled over the course of 1000 days.

354+ Beers were entered, some disqualified as if you can’t remember the name of them the next day its possible the beer is bad. (The Hangover Test).

3rd Place

Pineapple Beer. Not so good.

China produces a lot in this world. From crappy plastic toys covered in lead, to the very fine electronics you are likely sitting in front of right now.

Beer is no exception. These Pineapple beers are very low in alcohol, in fact the only reason they are included is because of the name.

Sweet yet disturbing, trying to describe the flavour development is difficult. Theres no hint of hops, maltyness or anything at all beer related.

2nd Place

Malawi’s Shake Shake was a strong contender for the worst beer awards. It had been holding 1st place since mid 2006.

Made from ground maize, milk products and yes you actually shake it to mix all the sediment up before drinking it. Its a bit of a mouthful.

Yet it also has some positive points.

Its nutritious and filling. Just think of alcoholic very runny porridge.

Yet still gets you drunk at lunchtime on a Monday with all the other locals that are loving the heavily distorted music pumping from the stereo. 1 Litre for $0.50 and think of all the nutritional benefits.

1st Place

If I told you to imagine a beer can that looks innocuous enough. The only hint trouble may be ahead is that its Lemon flavoured. You think how bad can it be?

Worst Beer in the World!

I can honestly say, I have never drunk less of a beer. Ever.

The first developing “Taste” is similar to what taking a few tablespoons of liquid salt into your mouth feels like.  There’s an instant gag reflex, and it really doesn’t provide that nice initial refreshing tingle that beer should.

The second stage of flavour comes in the form of “Lime” which tastes like lemon floor detergent smells.

I encouraged everyone in the hostel to sample it. Nobody wanted more than their first sip.

Beer + Salt + Lime in a can. Widely available in Mexico & Costa Rica. This whole genre of beer needs to be eradicated from the world.

Rock Ice with Lemon is announced as the winner of the Worst Beer In The World Contest. As judged by Moby on his 1000 Day Holiday.

While I was in Belize, I adopted Baby. It seems quite a popular thing to do these days. She didn’t seem to have a home, even less a body. So I picked her up and brought her along for the ride. Shes disadvantaged since one of her eyes can be a bit wonky, so tends to weird people out a little.

Baby watching the world go by

Baby even has her own space in my pack, with a grand view of the world poking her head out from the top of my pack. She seems to spook some people as I walk past, or the luggage loaders on buses and boats when they glance down and see her staring up at them. Sometimes you’ll hear their conversations stop mid sentence, others exclaim and laugh. Its great fun, and generally promotes interaction and and great deal of laughter.

She even keeps an eye on those who have fallen asleep in public places.

This is all leading up to the most interesting encounter Baby has had to date.

We had one guy in my dorm, who after a couple of days said to the others in the room that he couldn’t take it any more, and put a shirt over baby as she was just laying there in my pack.

A day or so later he was talking to the girls in the room wide eyed and says.

“You know that guy with the Baby.. You know that paddling pool is also his?”

“Do you think he bathes the Baby in the Pool?”

Brilliant Idea! Unfortunately I left the next morning so wasn’t able to Bathe baby…

With a name like that, and a scuba tank strapped to your back, you would dive it too.

The Temple of Doom is a Ceynote in Mexico, its name coming from its 3 holes which appear from below as a large mouth and eye sockets of a skull. It has both fresh and Salt water layers, which when you mix them it gives a acid like blurring effect called a halocline.

After jumping a couple of metres into the mouth of the skull with all my scuba gear on, we descended into the darkness.  

As my dive master swam through the halocline, from the side, it appears as if smoke is trailing off him. From behind I couldn’t see anything due to the blurring effect, only the direction of illumination coming from his torch.

Stalactites hanging from the roof, and crazy formations of different colours on the floor and walls meant I spent a lot of time swimming on my side and back to get the full view. Watching your bubbles run up the cave roof almost looking like water trickling uphill was very spacey. The only way to tell depth was by the need to equalize.

After the dives I asked my DM if he had dived other sites around Tulum. He replied he had only dived the reef twice, he lives for cave diving. He has been living in Tulum for 2 years. 

Cave diving, definitely addictive.

We caught a Linea Dorada bus from Belize City to Chetumal, Mexico. This being an international route, you have to get off the bus and pass through immigration. The benefit of taking an International Bus is that they wait for you to clear immigration and take you onto your destination.

We even get added fun at Mexican border as you get to punch a button which displays a red or green light determining if your bags are searched.

I got though no problem, loaded my bag back on the bus and waited for my travel buddy.

5, 10, 15 minutes no sign, I told the driver my friend was still not there and I was going to look for them. He huffed and puffed a bit. But off I went to find her as he had parked so that you couldn’t see the bus when you emerged from security, and was no longer standing at the corner so people could find it.

5 mins more and still no sign. Finally shes through and I’m telling her to hurry up as the bus driver is getting impatient. I turn around and the bus is pulling out into traffic 100m away!

I sprint after the bus. no luck. Fsck, my bags on that bus and I don’t know if it terminates in Chetumal or continues all the way to Cancun. WTF.

I ran back to my friend and jump in a cab with 2 others who were also left behind.

We get to the bus station 20 minutes later just as the bus pulls in, I bust past security explaining my bags are on there, and then start shouting in my “most excellent” Spanish at the bus driver why the FSCK he left without us and with my bag on board. The only bad bit was that I couldn’t get my Spanish swear words working as they are unpractised.

He didn’t give much of a toss about the situation, but I didn’t get out his face until he had paid our 100 Peso taxi fare ($10).

He then spent the next 20 minutes giving us the bad eye as we waited in line for tickets for the next bus. At least it now had cost him money and that appears the only way he might ever learn his lesson.